Ups and Downs

It is hard to believe who quickly time is moving and how fast the school year has gone. It seems like only last month when we started the brand new school year with a group of lively grade 1 children, and already we are planning for next year.

It has been a grand school year. With one of the best classes ever, I looked forward to every day, arrived early to start the day, and stayed late to finish up marking and planning. Having taken on the role of Grade 1 Level Coordinator this year, I had the responsibility to lead a group of seven other grade one teachers throughout the year, and it was a privilege to serve.

I recently learned that another teacher will be serving as the group leader next year. At first I was quite disappointed and questioning myself, wondering what I could have done differently to have had a different result. It was like banging my head on the desk...it hurt but certainly did not help in the least.

I did go through the seven stages of grief, as outlined below:

1. Shock and Denial- What? How can this be?
2. Pain and Guilt- There must have been more I could have done!
3- Anger and Bargaining- What if I had tried harder?
4- Depression, Reflection, Loneliness- Why is everyone against me?
5. The Upward Turn- But I did do my best with what I knew...
6. Reconstruction and Working Through- So what are the consequences of this?
7. Acceptance and Hope- I am determined to be the best teacher I can be next year!

-From  http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

It may seem a bit of a selfish stretch to compare the loss of a loved one with the loss of a position of responsibility, I realize that I often have trouble putting thoughts, feelings and events in to perspective, especially when it comes to work.I have been told that I take things too personally, which apparently comes from childhood experiences with circumstances. I never really learned how to cope with negative feelings and painful disappointments, other that to cry and sink into depression.

But then it hit me- square in the heart- I was put in a difficult situation, and although I did my very best, it wasn't. I compare it to training really hard for a difficult event, but not being able to complete it. Sometimes time runs out, the environment is not right, or the body and brain are not prepared.

I am learning that it is okay to fail. It is not the best feeling in the world, but it certainly is not the worst! Perhaps it is in our failures that we learn to appreciate the successes, recognize our areas of need, and set new goals.

I am looking forward to the ten weeks of summer vacation. I will be returning to Canada in 12 days. Plans include spending time with family and friends, fishing and swimming, and making an effort to sort, clean, and toss some of the accumulated "stuff" in our crawl space and throughout the rest of the house.

Life it good, and I am one fortunate person!

Until next time,

Bee Rich

Every Day is a GOOD Day!

Cheers!

In India the hottest months are April and May. They are past now as June rolls in. Indian summer is over and the India schools are back in operation. The rains have brought cooler temperatures and yesterday on our walk home, we saw school buses whizzing  by filled with children, reminding us that a new school year has begun in Bangalore.

As we turned up our street, we saw several young people disembark from their yellow bus. They looked fantastic,  wearing their perfectly white uniforms, shiny black shoes and brand new clean back packs. They were teasing one another, laughing  and generally enjoying the end of their first day of school

Meanwhile, we are winding down the school year. Plans are being made for graduations, annual field trips, year end parties. Report cards are being written and there is a buzz in the air all about summer vacation. Returning teachers are looking forward to a brief break before beginning planning for the next school year.

Talk about mixed emotions...after a year of living and working in India, my husband and I are preparing to return to Canada. My heart is heavy, knowing that soon we will be saying farewell to students, parents, colleagues and friends. And yet, we will be saying hello the comforts of home, family, friends and new and changing opportunities.

I know that wherever we are, whatever the circumstances we will have good days. And the present is what life is all about.

Until next time,

Bee Rich